Christmas is a season of joy, family, and traditions. Among the many cherished customs, the family gift exchange stands out as a highlight, especially in larger families. If you’re looking for a simple yet exciting way to manage gifts and create lasting memories, you’ve come to the right place. We’ll explore the tradition of family name drawing for Christmas gift exchanges and dive into creative ideas to make it even more special.
Many families, friends, and workplaces have adopted some form of Christmas name drawing, often known as Secret Santa. The concept is straightforward: everyone’s name is entered, and each participant draws one name. The name they draw is the person they will buy a gift for that year. It’s a simple process that brings a lot of anticipation and fun to the holiday season.
Our family has embraced the tradition of drawing names for Christmas gifts for as long as I can remember. It’s a tradition that’s deeply embedded in our holiday celebrations and one I eagerly anticipated as a child. I still recall the excitement of gathering around the table the day after Thanksgiving, practically vibrating with anticipation to discover whose name I would draw.
Excitement of family name drawing during Christmas
In the past, my mom took on the responsibility of writing everyone’s names on paper slips, ensuring no one was missed and preventing duplicates. While her meticulous approach was appreciated, it also meant she knew who had drawn her name, slightly diminishing the surprise element for her.
For a modern twist, and to include everyone in the surprise, consider using Secret Santa apps like Santa’s Secret Keeper or DrawNames, or online generators like Elfster. These tools can automate the drawing process, manage exclusions (like preventing spouses from drawing each other’s names or ensuring you don’t get the same person year after year), and keep the secret safe, even from the organizer!
Why Embrace a Family Name Drawing Tradition?
Growing up, I cherished the family name drawing tradition for several compelling reasons. The anticipation was a significant part of the fun! Drawing names was just the beginning; the following weeks were filled with playful speculation about who had drawn whom, all while diligently keeping our own assigned name a secret.
Shared bedrooms added another layer of intrigue in our younger years. Hiding gifts in a space shared with siblings required creativity and strategic timing, adding a fun, almost spy-like element to gift preparation.
More importantly, this tradition alleviated the pressure of buying gifts for everyone in our large family. While we were always free to give additional gifts if we wished, there was no obligation to purchase something for every sibling and parent. This made the holidays much more relaxed and enjoyable.
As our family has expanded, this aspect has become even more crucial. From the original nine (seven kids and two parents), we’ve grown to include six in-laws and seventeen grandchildren! Purchasing gifts for everyone has become financially impractical for most of us.
Focusing on just one person through the name drawing tradition is a much more manageable approach, both in terms of time and budget.
Furthermore, with fewer gifts to buy, I can dedicate more time and thought to the present for the person I draw. My family often teases me about my sometimes-late gifts. I like to invest time in selecting or creating meaningful presents, which occasionally pushes me past deadlines.
However, I think most of my family would agree that my gifts are generally well-received! The point is that drawing names allows me to either buy or create something truly special for the person I’m assigned. Instead of rushing through a gift list with little consideration, I can concentrate on making my chosen family member feel genuinely appreciated.
Family members exchanging gifts during Christmas name drawing
Our Family’s Secret Santa Gift Exchange: How It Works
So, how does this beloved tradition unfold in our family? As mentioned, my mom traditionally managed the name drawing. She would write each family member’s name on a slip of paper, fold them, and place them in a hat. Then, each person would draw a name. If you didn’t draw your own name, that person became your gift recipient for Christmas! Mom would keep a master list to ensure everyone was accounted for, maintaining secrecy otherwise. The actual drawing usually takes place on Black Friday.
Over the following month, we would carefully select or craft a gift for our assigned person. We often had a spending limit when we were younger, although it wasn’t always strictly adhered to. The grand reveal happened on Christmas Eve!
Every Christmas Eve, our family gathers for the gift exchange. We start by having the person who drew the youngest family member’s name give their gift first. Everyone watches with anticipation as the first gift is presented to our youngest brother, Dalyn.
After Dalyn opens his gift, he then presents his gift to his assigned person, and so on. We continue this chain as long as possible. When we reach someone who has already given their gift, we restart the process, with someone presenting their gift to the youngest person who hasn’t yet received one. This continues until everyone has received their gift. Don’t forget to capture photos of each gift-giving pair – it’s a cherished part of our tradition! 🙂
A grandfather kissing a baby while handing her a Christmas gift at a family exchange
Adaptations for Modern Family Name Drawing
As our family has evolved – with members spread across the country, an expanding number of relatives, and more young children involved – we’ve made some adjustments to our family name drawing:
- Mom now manages the name drawing remotely and texts or emails each of us our assigned name for Christmas.
- We typically draw names even earlier, before Thanksgiving, to allow ample time for gift preparation.
- One of us creates a shared Google Sheets page and emails it to all the adults. We use this to list gift ideas and interests (e.g., books, gardening, fitness apparel) to provide helpful hints without spoiling the surprise.
- We hold a large family gathering every other year. In those years, we exchange presents on Christmas Eve as we always have. In the years we are geographically separated, we ship gifts early to open in our own homes.
- When we are together for the exchange, we still prioritize the children. The person who has drawn the youngest child gives their gift first, followed by the person who drew the next youngest, and so on. This keeps the children engaged and happy and prevents the youngest ones from having to wait until the very end to open their gifts. It’s a more enjoyable experience for everyone. 🙂
- We’ve unofficially dropped the spending limit, as no one consistently adhered to it anyway. Instead, we focus on thoughtful and modest gifts. We aim for treasured presents rather than extravagant items like iPads or expensive electronics. Often, a meaningful homemade gift is cherished the most!
A preschooler smiling as her uncle gives her a Christmas present and aunt smiles at the party
Fun Alternatives to Traditional Family Name Drawing
If you’re seeking a fresh twist on the family gift exchange, explore these exciting alternatives:
Christmas Gift Exchange Games
Yankee Swap, White Elephant, or Dirty Santa
These games, known by various names, share a common premise. Each participant is assigned a number determining their turn order to select or “swap” gifts. All gifts are placed in a central area, concealing the givers’ identities.
How to Play:
- First Player: Player number 1 chooses and opens a wrapped gift from the pile. Their turn ends.
- Subsequent Players: Players in numerical order have two choices:
- Select and open a new, wrapped gift from the pile.
- “Swap” a previously opened gift. If a swap occurs, the person whose gift was taken now has the same two options.
- Swap Limits: Establish rules limiting how many times a gift can be swapped, typically two or three times.
- Game End: Continue until everyone has had a turn. Player number 1 gets a final turn to swap their gift with any other opened gift, concluding the game.
Tips for Yankee Swap:
- No Immediate Re-Swapping: Prevent immediate gift re-stealing for fairness.
- Gift Revealing: Decide whether givers remain anonymous until the end or reveal themselves after their gift is opened.
- Embrace Fun: The key is to keep it lighthearted and humorous. Encourage creative and funny gift selections. Consider skipping this game with very young children, as the “stealing” aspect can be upsetting.
Pass the Phrase Gift Exchange
In this game, everyone sits in a circle and receives a wrapped gift. A short Christmas story or song is played with two frequently repeated keywords chosen beforehand. Each keyword signals passing gifts either to the right or left. Gifts are passed each time a keyword is spoken or sung until the story or song ends.
For simplicity, use the “T’was the Night Before Christmas” story, which uses “right” and “left” to direct gift passing.
Pass the Present Game
A family favorite, this game is adapted from a Halloween song. Instead of drawing names, everyone brings a general gift suitable for any age (treats, family movies, games work well). Everyone sits in a circle, and the host gives a wrapped gift to someone. Then, a song is sung while the gift is passed around the circle.
The lyrics we use are:
"We will pass the present all around the room,And while we are passing it, we will sing this tune,La la la la la, and the present drops,Or the one who has it when the music stops!"When the song stops, whoever is holding the present gets to open it! Alternatively, play Christmas music and stop it randomly. The person holding the present opens it and is then out of the game. Continue until everyone has opened a gift.
Family Drawing vs. Individual Drawing
Ideal for large extended families or those preferring to give one family gift instead of many individual ones. Each family draws another family’s name and buys or makes a gift for that entire family.
For instance, the Tyler Smith family might gift movie tickets to their brother Bill Smith’s family, and the Bill Smith family might give ice skating passes to Jill’s family.
My husband’s family uses family exchanges, and they are incredibly fun! One memorable gift was a bed and breakfast gift certificate they used for their first anniversary!
Gift Card Swap Ideas
Everyone buys gift cards to favorite restaurants or stores within a set price range. Each gift card is placed in a random small gift box, stocking, or opaque package. These wrapped gift cards are then used as prizes for Christmas games or passed around in a passing game.
Themed Gift Exchange
Add a theme to any gift exchange for extra fun! Themes can be applied to Secret Santa individual gifts or family gifts. Theme ideas include “favorite things,” ornaments, game night, books, technology, travel, foodies, DIY, or pampering.
Family Name Drawings: Focus on Fun!
Regardless of the name drawing method or gift exchange style you choose, the most important aspect is to enjoy spending time together as a family. Large family gatherings can sometimes be a bit chaotic, but often, those unexpected moments become the most cherished and humorous memories later on!
Wishing you the best in finding the perfect gift exchange option for your holiday season! Does your family use name drawings for Christmas gifts? We’d love to hear about your traditions in the comments!
-MaLee
Looking for more Christmas inspiration? Explore our other favorite family Christmas traditions or these fun holiday movies!
