Carvell Wallace’s memoir, Another Word for Love, delves deep into the multifaceted nature of love, presenting it not just as an emotion but as a practice, a way of being, and a lens through which we understand our relationships and the world around us. While the title itself suggests alternative language for love, the themes explored within its pages resonate profoundly with our understanding of family – prompting us to consider Another Term For Family itself. Wallace’s work invites us to expand our definitions, to look beyond traditional structures, and to recognize the diverse forms of kinship that enrich our lives.
In a society often governed by power imbalances and resource disparities, Wallace poignantly observes a potential disconnect from fundamental human experiences like gratitude and simple joy. He suggests that true love, in its most basic form, is about appreciation – “simply the feeling that I am grateful to be here and I am grateful you are here, too.” This sentiment, while directed at love, equally echoes the core of familial bonds. Isn’t family, at its heart, about a shared sense of gratitude for being connected, for having someone by your side, even when challenges arise? This perspective offers us another term for family: gratitude. Family becomes not just a given, but a relationship built and sustained on mutual appreciation and acknowledgment of presence.
Wallace’s exploration of love as a practice further illuminates another term for family: practice. He tells Courtney Martin in the interview, “I think of love more as a practice and a way of living than a feeling, so I like the fact that the book ends up being a record of that practice.” This idea shifts the focus from family as a static entity to family as an ongoing, evolving process. Just as love requires conscious effort, so too does family. It’s about the daily actions, the consistent choices to show up, support, and engage with one another. Family, in this sense, is not merely defined by blood or legal ties, but by the active and continuous practice of care, understanding, and commitment. This active definition broadens the scope of who we consider family, encompassing chosen families, close friendships, and communities built on mutual support and practiced love.
The memoir also touches upon the crucial concept of consent within relationships, a principle profoundly relevant to family dynamics. Wallace’s approach to writing about loved ones, guided by Mary Karr’s framework and his own ethical considerations, emphasizes generosity and truth-telling while respecting boundaries. This thoughtful approach highlights another term for family: consent. In healthy family structures, consent is paramount – respect for individual boundaries, open communication, and mutual agreement in decisions that affect the collective. Applying the principle of consent within family relationships fosters trust, autonomy, and genuine connection, moving away from hierarchical or authoritarian models towards more equitable and respectful bonds.
Furthermore, Wallace’s deep connection with nature offers another term for family: liberation. He finds solace and a unique form of unbiased love in the natural world, stating, “Nature will treat you the exact same no matter your identity. This, in and of itself, is a form of liberation.” This perspective suggests that family, in its most expansive sense, can be about creating spaces of liberation and acceptance. Just as nature offers refuge from societal oppressions, family can function as a sanctuary where individuals feel unconditionally accepted and free to be themselves. This liberatory aspect of family extends beyond human connections, encompassing our relationship with the environment and the sense of belonging we derive from the wider world.
Finally, Wallace’s reflection on ending self-protection and embracing vulnerability offers a powerful insight into another term for family: ownership of self. He concludes that his book represents “the end of a certain kind of hiding and fear-driven self-protection” and “the beginning of a new kind of ownership of the self.” True family, in this light, becomes a space where we can shed our protective layers, be seen in our vulnerability, and claim ownership of our authentic selves. It’s within these trusted bonds that we can truly grow, heal, and evolve. Family, therefore, is not about ownership of others, but about fostering an environment where each individual can own and embrace their own being.
Carvell Wallace’s Another Word for Love doesn’t explicitly define another term for family, but through his profound exploration of love, he provides us with a rich tapestry of concepts that redefine and expand our understanding of what family can be. Gratitude, practice, consent, liberation, and self-ownership – these are all potent alternatives that move us beyond conventional definitions and towards a more inclusive and meaningful appreciation of the bonds that truly sustain us. Wallace’s memoir serves as an invitation to reimagine family, to recognize its diverse forms, and to actively cultivate relationships grounded in love, respect, and mutual liberation. Exploring his book offers a journey into discovering your own “another term for family.”
