“La Famiglia e Tutto”—this Sicilian proverb, meaning “Family is Everything,” encapsulates a profound truth that resonates across cultures and generations. It’s a sentiment that was palpable during a recent gathering at the Centro Culturale Italiano (Italian Cultural Center) in Buffalo, NY, where discussions about community, heritage, and the enduring power of family took center stage.
The event, centered around a reading and discussion of my novel, Virgin Snow, unexpectedly blossomed into a heartfelt exploration of what family truly means. While the novel is set in Buffalo’s vibrant West Side, a historically Sicilian neighborhood, in the late 1960s and 70s, the themes of family, belonging, and shared experiences proved universally engaging. Instead of focusing solely on the book, I decided to open the floor to the audience, a diverse group ranging from their 20s to their 90s, to discover how the story connected with their own lives.
Engaged audience members participate in a lively discussion about family and community at the Italian Cultural Center in Buffalo, New York.
Echoes of “La Famiglia”: Shared Experiences
To spark conversation, I read a passage from Virgin Snow and invited the audience to share their own reflections. What followed was a rich and moving dialogue about growing up in Buffalo during a transformative era. Many attendees had roots in the West Side, shared Sicilian or Italian heritage, and were raised in the Catholic faith. The common ground was immediately evident as nearly everyone raised their hand in affirmation to these connections.
Conversations flowed effortlessly, touching upon cherished traditions like Saint Joseph’s Day feasts, overflowing with homemade Sicilian delicacies. We reminisced about the evolving role of the Catholic Church in family life and fondly recalled neighborhood landmarks like local swimming pools and family-owned grocery stores. Even significant historical events, such as the Buffalo riots, the Vietnam War, and the moon landing, were woven into the fabric of our shared memories.
The phrase 'La Famiglia,' Italian for 'family,' emphasizes the central role of family in Sicilian and Italian cultures.
The Unbreakable Bond: Family First
Yet, amidst these diverse topics, the conversation consistently circled back to the core concept of “family.” The Sicilian saying, La Famiglia e Tutto, wasn’t just a quaint phrase; it was a lived reality. For those raised on Buffalo’s West Side, family wasn’t just a nuclear unit; it was an extended network living in close proximity, gathering frequently, especially on Sundays, reinforcing the importance of familial bonds.
Laughter filled the room as stories emerged of protective Sicilian fathers and uncles rigorously vetting potential suitors and of aunts engaging in friendly culinary competitions. Nods of understanding rippled through the audience as we discussed the archetype of the proud widowed Sicilian mother, facing financial hardship yet refusing assistance, resolutely prioritizing her family’s well-being above all else. These anecdotes, while specific to a cultural context, highlighted universal family values of protection, support, and unconditional love.
A nostalgic black and white photograph of 15th Street on Buffalo's West Side in the 1970s, illustrating the strong sense of place and community that kept families rooted despite challenges.
The Pull of Home: Family’s Enduring Strength
The discussion also touched upon the period of urban change in the late 1970s and early 1980s when Buffalo faced economic challenges and out-migration. I asked how many had left Buffalo during that time and how many had remained. The audience was almost evenly split. Interestingly, several who had left had recently returned, drawn back by Buffalo’s revitalization and affordability. However, many shared that even during Buffalo’s toughest times, they had returned “home” simply to be closer to family.
This underscored a powerful truth: while career prospects and warmer climates may tempt individuals to relocate, the magnetic pull of la famiglia is often the strongest. It’s not just about familial obligations; it’s about a deep-seated need for belonging, for the comfort of shared history, and for the unwavering support system that family provides.
The inviting cafe within the Italian Cultural Center, serving cappuccino and Italian pastries, provides a warm space for family and community gatherings.
The Enduring Value of Family
The conversations at the Italian Cultural Center illuminated the profound joy derived from shared family traditions, familiar comfort foods, and the timeless ritual of recounting family stories that evoke laughter with each retelling. Those who have experienced geographical distance from their families understand the void created by the absence of these elements and the immense joy of their return.
Ultimately, “Family Are Everything” is more than just a saying; it’s a testament to the fundamental human need for connection, belonging, and unconditional love. Whether rooted in Sicilian tradition or expressed in countless other ways across the globe, the essence of family remains a cornerstone of a fulfilling life.
