Brian Griffin, the martini-swirling, pseudo-intellectual Labrador from Family Guy, lives a lifestyle that often seems at odds with his freeloading tendencies. But have you ever stopped to consider just how much Brian’s refined tastes actually cost? Let’s dive into the hypothetical expenses of this beloved animated dog and unpack what funds his aspirations of the high life.
For a start, Brian’s commitment to appearing cultured certainly comes with a price tag. His reliance on technology, for instance, is a recurring theme. It’s safe to assume Brian, like many modern individuals, is paying off a smartphone, likely an iPhone. With monthly installments hovering around $60, this is a standard expense in his contemporary life. Furthermore, his eco-conscious Prius, while a statement in itself, is not cheap. A mid-range model would entail roughly a $340 monthly car payment. Factoring in gas and budget-friendly insurance, Brian’s environmentally sound vehicle sets him back approximately $580 each month.
To maintain his intellectual persona, Brian likely subscribes to publications that cater to his perceived sophistication. A subscription to the Wall Street Journal, for example, adds to his monthly outgoings. His credit card also plays a significant role in his financial narrative. The Family Guy episode “The New Adventures of Old Tom” illustrates Brian’s reliance on credit to impress. Using his card to purchase an expensive ring – albeit with the intention of returning it – reveals both his access to credit and his financial limitations. Living in Rhode Island, a state known for high credit card debt, Brian’s estimated minimum monthly payment could easily reach $150, especially given his often-unemployed status and penchant for using credit to attract romantic interests.
However, Brian’s most considerable expenses arguably stem from his vices. His fondness for martinis, recreational marijuana use, and active dating life are not budget-friendly pursuits. Even assuming he avoids the stereotypical writer’s coffee shop and opts for weekly outings for martinis in pursuit of dates, this habit alone could accumulate to over $2,160 annually. Adding in the costs of flowers and dinners associated with dating, Brian’s romantic endeavors likely account for a substantial 32% of his overall expenses, painting a picture of a dog whose desires often outweigh his financial practicality.
