It’s interesting how often the phrase “part of the family” comes up when discussing company culture, especially in family-owned businesses aiming for a more inclusive environment. As leaders in these businesses shift away from traditional command-and-control styles, many gravitate towards describing their employees using the Family Word. They seem to believe that this single term can magically foster a harmonious culture and boost performance, as if simply uttering “family” is enough to create seamless teamwork and exceptional results.
This couldn’t be further from reality.
We must remember that real families are rarely seamless. In fact, family dynamics are often complex and messy. If you believe that casually calling your employees “family” will automatically create a positive family culture within your business, you might be setting yourself up for disappointment. Using the family word loosely can lead to unforeseen issues and misunderstandings.
Here’s why this approach is often flawed.
While saying “we’re all one big happy family” sounds wonderful, the truth is, your employees aren’t actually family. As the saying goes, blood is thicker than water. When tough times arrive and difficult decisions need to be made, family members are naturally prioritized. It might be seen as nepotism, but the reality is, when families make critical choices, they will almost always prioritize what’s best for the family, alongside the business. This inherent family-first approach is a reality employees understand intuitively. So, why pretend otherwise by overusing the family word?
I’ve observed numerous problems arising when employees are labeled as “part of the family.” The outcomes are rarely positive. A common complaint from employees is, “I thought I was part of the family, until suddenly I wasn’t.”
Perhaps an employee overhears family members discussing someone’s job performance privately. Or, a long-term employee is eventually let go. In a worse scenario, a dedicated, high-performing employee might be overlooked for promotion because a younger family member joins the company. Regardless of the specific situation, the underlying message becomes clear: We are family; you are not. The casual use of the family word creates a false sense of belonging.
The point is, no matter how strong your company culture, employees inherently know they aren’t truly family. They understand that if they displease a key family member, they could be easily cast aside. This understanding undermines the very trust and loyalty you aim to build by using the family word.
So, why sugarcoat the reality? Why not be direct and honest?
If you genuinely desire to create a family-like culture, invest the effort to build one authentically. Define your family values and actively demonstrate how these values should be lived out in the workplace every day. Instead of just saying the family word, embody the principles.
I know a business owner who wisely referred to his employees as “our corporate family.” This distinction is much more accurate, setting appropriate boundaries and clarifying everyone’s position. It communicates, “We value you as an integral part of our team, and we expect you to contribute your best. We expect you to uphold our values. If you fail to do so, you risk losing your place on this team.” This approach, while still using a variation of the family word, is grounded in realistic expectations and mutual respect.
Telling someone they’re “part of the family” when they are essentially employed by the family is a deceptive way to foster a collaborative work environment. While some might consider this a minor semantic difference, my observations suggest it’s a significant issue. The overuse and misuse of the family word can be detrimental.
Furthermore, using the family word as a superficial tactic to boost productivity is disrespectful to your employees. Instead, why not genuinely value and respect them for their individual contributions? Build a culture based on clearly defined values, hold family members accountable to the same standards as employees, and you’ll naturally see increased motivation and productivity. Anything less than this genuine approach will likely backfire when you least expect it. Over-relying on the family word without substance can damage your organization.
I’ve witnessed organizations suffer because of this lack of clarity and authenticity surrounding the family word. I sincerely hope your business won’t be another example.
