Leo Tolstoy famously wrote, “Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.” This opening line of Anna Karenina has resonated for generations, prompting reflection on the nature of happiness and family. But what does it truly mean for happy families to be alike? Laurie Frankel’s novel, This Is How It Always Is, offers a compelling exploration of this concept through the endearing Walsh-Adams family, challenging and enriching our understanding of familial bliss.
Frankel’s novel introduces us to Rosie and Penn Walsh-Adams and their five children. What sets this family apart, and simultaneously makes them universally relatable, is their journey with their youngest child, Poppy, who is transgender. Born Claude, Poppy renames herself early in life, and the family embraces her identity with remarkable warmth and acceptance. In a world often fraught with misunderstanding and prejudice towards transgender individuals, This Is How It Always Is presents a refreshing and necessary narrative of love, tolerance, and familial unity.
The novel’s gentle tone, as highlighted in reviews, is a key strength. Instead of sensationalizing or focusing on conflict, Frankel portrays a family that, at its core, is simply navigating life with love and compassion. Rosie and Penn’s immediate acceptance of Poppy’s identity sets the stage for a story centered on understanding and support. Their family dynamic, filled with inside jokes and everyday parental moments, mirrors the fabric of many happy families. This relatability is crucial in bridging divides and fostering empathy in readers who may not have personal experience with transgender individuals or families.
The universality of happy families, as suggested by Tolstoy, lies not in the absence of challenges, but in the shared values and approaches to life’s complexities. The Walsh-Adams family faces external challenges stemming from societal prejudice and misunderstanding. Children can be cruel, and the novel doesn’t shy away from depicting the potential for menace. However, the family confronts these challenges united, drawing strength from their internal bonds and unwavering love for one another. This resilience in the face of adversity is a hallmark of happy families, regardless of their specific circumstances.
Frankel, drawing from her own experience as a mother of a trans daughter, deftly addresses sensitive topics with both honesty and grace. The novel tackles questions about gender identity, societal acceptance, and the nuances of raising a transgender child. By addressing the often-unspoken questions and concerns that cisgender individuals might have, This Is How It Always Is serves as an invaluable tool for education and understanding. It humanizes the transgender experience, moving beyond political rhetoric and into the realm of personal connection and empathy.
Furthermore, the novel subtly emphasizes that the core elements of a happy family – love, communication, mutual respect, and shared laughter – are universal. These are not unique to any specific family structure or identity but are the foundational pillars upon which strong and joyful families are built. The Walsh-Adams family, in their happiness, reflects these universal elements, making their story resonate with a broad readership. Their “alikeness” to other happy families lies in these fundamental human connections.
While the review does point out minor shortcomings in the novel’s pacing and setting descriptions, these are overshadowed by Frankel’s strength in character development. The Walsh-Adams family feels real, flawed, and deeply lovable. They are the kind of family readers can connect with, learn from, and find inspiration in. This connection underscores the novel’s central theme: happy families, in their shared pursuit of love and happiness, are indeed alike, and their stories have the power to change hearts and minds.
In conclusion, This Is How It Always Is uses the lens of a happy family to explore timely and important social issues. By portraying the Walsh-Adams family with warmth and authenticity, Laurie Frankel not only delivers a compelling narrative but also subtly unpacks the essence of Tolstoy’s famous quote. Happy families are alike not because they are devoid of problems, but because they share a common language of love, resilience, and empathy. This novel serves as a gentle reminder of the universality of family happiness and the power of stories to foster understanding and compassion in an increasingly divided world.
