Growing up as the third oldest of nine children was, to put it mildly, an experience. When I share this fact, the reactions are usually along the lines of, “Wow, that must have been something!” And it truly was. Every single day was a blend of unpredictable challenges, thrilling adventures, and utter chaos. With four brothers and four sisters, our house was never quiet. This large, boisterous, and sometimes crazy family environment taught me invaluable lessons about leadership, resilience, and the beauty of individuality – lessons that no textbook, classroom, or motivational speech could ever impart. These are the very lessons forged in the heart of my Big Family that have fundamentally shaped my personal and professional journey.
Here are some of the most impactful lessons I absorbed from my big family, lessons that continue to guide me in my work and life today.
Teamwork Makes the Dream Work: Family Edition
The saying “teamwork makes the dream work” might sound like corporate jargon, but it’s a fundamental truth that was constantly reinforced in my childhood home. In a large family, teamwork isn’t just a concept; it’s a necessity for survival. Whether it was tackling mountains of laundry, washing dishes after a family feast, dusting every corner, or vacuuming up the never-ending crumbs, we had to learn to collaborate effectively to get anything done. Failure to work together meant living in a state of domestic disarray – think mountains of dirty clothes and eating off less-than-clean surfaces!
This early immersion in teamwork has been invaluable in my professional life. Consider any project in today’s interconnected world – from product development and marketing campaigns to customer support and digital transformations. Success hinges on the ability to compromise, share responsibilities, and communicate openly to overcome obstacles, achieve milestones, and reach common objectives. It requires setting aside differences in opinions, strategies, and perspectives to collectively figure out how to make the “dream work.” My big family hammered home the crucial lesson that teamwork is not just beneficial; it’s absolutely essential for achieving success, both at home and in the workplace.
Listen First, Then Speak: The Art of Communication in a Big Family
Communication is a complex skill, even for seasoned professionals. Imagine navigating communication within a household of eleven individuals, each with their own distinct personalities, priorities, and needs. Growing up in a big family, I quickly learned that simply being the loudest voice in the room didn’t guarantee being heard. In fact, shouting over each other only led to confusion, frustration, and ultimately, no one being understood.
Instead, I discovered the power of attentive listening and thoughtful observation. I learned to carefully listen to ongoing conversations, observe the unspoken cues and behaviors of others, and then choose the right moment and manner to express my own thoughts and needs. Navigating the intricate dynamics of family discussions taught me the subtle art of effective communication: understanding the best time, place, and approach to make my voice heard.
This lesson translates directly to professional environments. In today’s collaborative workspaces, whether driving digital transformation or contributing to team projects, it’s crucial to voice your ideas and perspectives to contribute meaningfully. However, true impact comes not from being the loudest, but from being the most effective communicator. It’s about articulating your thoughts clearly, respectfully, and at the right time, ensuring that people not only hear you but truly listen and learn from what you have to say. Effective communication, honed in the family crucible, is about making meaningful connections and driving collaborative success.
Focus in the Face of Family Frenzy
Our house was rarely quiet. Homework time wasn’t a serene, isolated affair. It usually took place in the busiest areas of the house – the kitchen or the dining room. Picture this: I’m trying to concentrate on algebra while siblings are bustling around me – coming and going, chatting, snacking, laughing, or occasionally, even crying. This daily dose of domestic commotion, however, inadvertently became my training ground for developing laser-like focus. I was forced, from a young age, to learn how to tune out the surrounding “noise,” block out distractions, and concentrate on the task at hand.
This skill has proven to be incredibly valuable in the modern workplace, which is often characterized by constant interruptions and distractions. Think about a typical workday filled with emails pinging, calls ringing, instant messages popping up, all vying for your attention and pulling you away from projects demanding deep thought and strategic planning. Having developed the ability to maintain maniacal focus on what truly matters – your key priorities – is the most effective strategy to prevent these constant diversions from derailing progress and diminishing productivity. My big family, in its own chaotic way, gifted me with the ability to stay focused amidst the storm.
Building Your First Network: The Family Connection
Being part of a big family inherently emphasizes the importance of relationships and connections. Family gatherings – birthdays, holidays, achievements, both grand and small celebrations – were always significant events, occasions to reconnect and strengthen bonds. Within our family network, open and honest communication was the norm. We addressed challenging topics, debated differing viewpoints, and weren’t afraid to challenge each other’s perspectives. Nothing was off-limits for discussion, and we learned that disagreeing respectfully was just as important as finding common ground. Of course, we talked about everyday things – sports, the weather, daily life – but we also delved into the “big stuff,” sharing each other’s joys and supporting each other through sorrows.
This experience has profoundly shaped my approach to networking in my professional life. I’ve learned that having a network of trusted colleagues who can challenge my thinking, offer diverse perspectives, and provide support is invaluable. This network acts as a sounding board, helping me to identify, evaluate, and address the most critical issues effectively. Building a solid foundation of people I trust, both personally and professionally, keeps me grounded and focused on what truly matters. My big family was my first, and perhaps most formative, network, teaching me the enduring value of strong connections.
Embrace Diversity: A Family of Unique Individuals
Nine children growing up in the same house – each one brought a unique perspective, personality, and set of talents to the family dynamic. I quickly realized that my own ideas were invariably enriched and improved by the input of my siblings. It was, in essence, crowdsourcing of ideas long before the term became a business buzzword! I genuinely valued hearing their different opinions and suggestions. I made it a practice to absorb all the various viewpoints, consider different angles, before making important decisions. Sometimes I agreed with their feedback, sometimes I didn’t, but I always listened and considered their perspectives. Many of my plans and ideas were significantly influenced and enhanced by my siblings’ feedback.
As I matured, I came to deeply appreciate the power of diverse perspectives, not just within my family but also in professional teams. Research consistently shows that diverse companies perform better. People from different cultures, backgrounds, experiences, and with varying personalities bring a wealth of unique viewpoints to the workplace. These differences spark creativity, fuel innovation, and lead to more robust problem-solving. By actively leveraging the diverse viewpoints and opinions of team members, organizations can not only foster inclusivity but also unlock their full innovative potential. My big family was a living, breathing example of the power of diversity, long before I understood its broader implications.
Perhaps the most profound lesson my big family instilled in me is the understanding that life itself, in its everyday unfolding, offers the most valuable learning opportunities. If we are open to observing and embracing the lessons embedded in our daily experiences, I believe we can all become more effective and empathetic leaders. And while I am eternally grateful for the lessons each of my brothers and sisters has taught me, as siblings, I still can’t give them too much credit!
