Stewie Griffin, the football-headed baby from Family Guy, is not your typical toddler. While he may have softened a bit over the years, trading world domination aspirations for a more complex, albeit still mischievous, personality, his early portrayal as an evil genius remains iconic. Stewie’s meticulously crafted, often outlandish, evil schemes are a cornerstone of Family Guy‘s humor and have given us some of the most unforgettable moments in the show’s history. Using methods that are, frankly, beyond the grasp of mere mortals, we’ve compiled a definitive list of Stewie’s top 10 most diabolically evil plans.
10. Mind Control Mayhem in “The Story on Page One”
In the episode “The Story on Page One” (Season 2), Stewie unveils his sinister side with a mind control device. His target? Chris, his older brother. Stewie’s goal isn’t sibling rivalry in the typical sense; he intends to use a mind-controlled Chris, made taller and stronger, to finally eliminate Lois, his mother. While Lois narrowly escapes thanks to a well-timed microwave intervention, and the plan hilariously backfires with Chris turning on Stewie, the sheer audacity of inventing a mind control device to commit matricide earns this plan a spot on our list. The episode showcases Stewie’s early, unwavering focus on eliminating Lois, a central theme in his early evil persona.
Stewie with his mind control device aiming at Chris
9. Obesity-Fueled Cruelty in “He’s Too Sexy for His Fat”
“He’s Too Sexy for His Fat” (Season 2) presents a different flavor of evil from Stewie. This plan isn’t about world domination or elaborate gadgets; it’s about targeted emotional torment. When Chris struggles with his weight and self-esteem, Stewie’s response is to intentionally overeat in front of him. This act of calculated cruelty, designed solely to exacerbate Chris’s insecurities, highlights a more personal and petty form of Stewie’s evil. It’s a stark reminder that Stewie’s capacity for malice extends beyond grand schemes to simple, yet deeply hurtful, actions.
8. Lovesick Violence in “8 Simple Rules for Buying My Teenage Daughter”
Stewie’s infatuation with his babysitter, Liddane, in “8 Simple Rules for Buying My Teenage Daughter” (Season 4) takes a dark turn when jealousy strikes. Witnessing Liddane with her boyfriend Jeremy ignites a violent rage in the toddler. Stewie’s reaction is far from childish pique; he assaults Jeremy with an iron pipe, ties him up, and locks him in a car trunk. The truly chilling part? Stewie completely forgets about Jeremy, only to casually recall the incident weeks later, assuming Jeremy’s demise. This episode reveals Stewie’s disturbing capacity for impulsive violence and his chilling lack of empathy, even towards those he barely knows.
Stewie looking menacing, hinting at his violent outburst
7. Overkill Matricide Attempt in “Death Is a Bitch”
“Death Is a Bitch” (Season 2) showcases Stewie’s escalating and almost cartoonishly violent attempts on Lois’s life. This episode is a masterclass in comedic overkill. Stewie starts by pushing Lois down the stairs with his tricycle, a classic toddler move, but then escalates dramatically. He saws off dresser legs and drops the heavy furniture on her, culminating in tossing a grenade into the wreckage. While Death’s temporary incapacitation thwarts Stewie’s plan, the sheer escalation and commitment to inflicting grievous harm solidify this as a top evil moment. It’s a darkly humorous illustration of Stewie’s relentless matricidal drive.
6. A Trifecta of Treachery in “Brian in Love”
“Brian in Love” (Season 2) is a showcase of Stewie’s concentrated evil across multiple fronts. In a single episode, Stewie manages to kill Mr. Rogers in a dream sequence (a testament to his subconscious malice), frames Brian for urinating throughout the house, and then, in a particularly twisted act, tries to make Brian jealous of his relationship with Lois. This trifecta of evil deeds – murder, framing, and psychological manipulation – demonstrates Stewie’s versatility in villainy. It’s not just about grand schemes; it’s about being consistently, creatively, and comprehensively evil.
Stewie looking mischievous, hinting at his multiple evil deeds in the episode
5. Time Machine for Teething Troubles in “Mind Over Murder”
“Mind Over Murder” (Season 1) reveals a surprising motivation for Stewie’s technological genius: avoiding teething pain. To escape this common childhood discomfort, Stewie constructs a time machine, intending to jump to a future where his teeth have already grown in. While the time machine isn’t actually used for time travel in this episode, its very existence is a testament to Stewie’s advanced intellect and his willingness to use it, even for seemingly mundane problems. The episode humorously highlights that even Stewie’s “evil genius” can be driven by very relatable, if somewhat selfish, toddler concerns.
6. Loan Shark Brutality in “Patriot Games”
“Patriot Games” (Season 4) takes Stewie’s evil in a surprisingly mundane, yet brutally effective direction. He becomes a loan shark, and when Brian is late on a paltry $50 debt, Stewie unleashes a series of hilariously violent punishments. The beatings inflicted on Brian are cartoonishly over-the-top, showcasing Stewie’s capacity for disproportionate retribution. While lacking the grandeur of world domination plots, the sheer brutality of Stewie’s loan shark methods is undeniably evil, proving that even small-scale schemes can be incredibly dark and funny.
Stewie menacingly confronting Brian, depicting his loan shark persona
3. Matricide by Machine Gun in “Stewie Kills Lois”
“Stewie Kills Lois” (Season 6) is perhaps the most direct and successful of Stewie’s matricidal plots. Armed with a machine gun and a boat, Stewie finally achieves his long-sought goal of ending Lois’s life. Adding insult to injury (and evil genius points), he even manages to frame Peter for the murder. Although the episode’s events are ultimately retconned as a computer simulation, the meticulous planning and execution of Lois’s murder are undeniably impressive, in a darkly comedic way. It’s a culmination of Stewie’s matricidal obsession, even if ultimately non-canonical within the show’s universe.
2. Anti-Sperm Warfare in “Emission Impossible”
“Emission Impossible” (Season 3) showcases Stewie’s technological prowess and his determination to remain the sole baby in the Griffin household. To thwart Lois and Peter’s plans for another child, Stewie builds a fully functional shrinking spaceship armed with anti-sperm laser weaponry and infiltrates Peter’s body. Inside, he encounters Bertram, a highly intelligent potential sibling. This plan is not only technologically ambitious but also deeply personal, driven by Stewie’s desire to maintain his privileged position. The shrinking spaceship and anti-sperm lasers are quintessential examples of Stewie’s over-the-top, yet scientifically (within the Family Guy universe) plausible, evil genius.
Stewie in his shrinking spaceship, embarking on his anti-sperm mission
1. Broccoli-Free World Domination in “I Never Met the Dead Man”
Taking the top spot is Stewie’s debut into diabolical scheming in “I Never Met the Dead Man” (Season 1). His motivation? A profound dislike for broccoli. Stewie’s solution is not mere avoidance but global domination – of the weather. He constructs a weather control device with the aim of freezing broccoli crops worldwide. This plan is brilliant in its over-the-top response to a simple childhood aversion. It’s elaborate, creative, and perfectly encapsulates Stewie’s early evil genius persona. The weather control device to eliminate broccoli is not just an evil plan; it’s the quintessential Family Guy evil plan, setting the stage for Stewie’s future diabolical endeavors.
Do you agree with our ranking of Stewie’s most evil schemes? Which of his diabolical plots is your personal favorite? Let us know in the comments below!
