The Family Guy theme song is iconic, instantly recognizable, and sets the tone for the irreverent humor that defines the show. But have you ever really listened to the lyrics and unpacked the jokes within the opening sequence? Let’s dive deep into the Family Guy Opening Lyrics and explore what makes this song so memorable and funny.
A Modern World vs. “Good ‘Ol Fashioned Values”
The song immediately establishes a generational clash. Lois and Peter lament the state of modern entertainment, complaining about “violence in movies and sex on TV.” This sets up the show’s satirical nature, often poking fun at societal norms and media trends.
[Lois]
It seems today that all you see
Is violence in movies and sex on TV
[Peter]
But where are those good 'ol fashioned values
On which we used to rely?This opening verse is humorous because Family Guy itself is full of violence and sexual innuendo. The characters are complaining about the very things the show revels in, highlighting the hypocrisy and changing standards of what’s considered acceptable in entertainment.
Pop Culture Barbs and Celebrity Roasts
The lyrics continue to critique contemporary pop culture by contrasting it with perceived “classic” examples. Brian and Stewie take aim at celebrities and films, delivering punchy one-liners.
[Brian]
It used to be a big time star
Was elegant as Garbo, or Hedy Lamarr
[Stewie]
But now we get whores like Jenny Lopez
You want to curl up and dieThis section is packed with dated references, which is part of the humor. Greta Garbo and Hedy Lamarr represent old Hollywood glamour, while Jennifer Lopez (referred to with a harsh and arguably misogynistic term) is presented as a symbol of a decline in celebrity quality. This line is deliberately provocative and controversial, typical of Family Guy‘s edgy comedy.
Lucky there's a Family Guy
Lucky there's a man who positively can do
All the things that make us
[Stewie] Laugh and cry
He's our Family GuyThe chorus introduces Peter Griffin as the “Family Guy,” the central figure who brings both laughter and tears – often through his absurd antics. The phrasing is intentionally simple and catchy, making it memorable.
[Louis]
When I was young, the songs were fair
With Mister Johnny Mathis, and Sonny and Cher
[Peter]
But now we get Justin Timber-homo
[Louis]
A heartache all gone awry!This verse continues the generational theme, with Lois and Peter criticizing modern music. Johnny Mathis and Sonny & Cher are presented as wholesome musical acts, contrasted with Justin Timberlake, whose name is comically distorted and followed by a homophobic slur. This line is highly offensive and again, typical of Family Guy‘s shock humor, although it has aged poorly and is often criticized today.
[Brian]
The classic films were works of art
The images were graceful, the stories were smart
[Stewie]
But now we get Matrix Revolution, I'm sorry I know this doesn't rhyme
But what the hell were you Wachowski Brothers thinking?!Brian praises “classic films” while Stewie rants about The Matrix Revolutions. The humor here is self-aware, as Stewie acknowledges the line doesn’t rhyme, breaking the song’s structure for comedic effect. The Wachowskis (now Wachowski sisters) are directly called out, adding a layer of specific pop culture critique.
Lucky there's a family guy
Lucky there's a fella, sweeter than vanilla
Wholesome as a piece of
[Stewie] Apple pie
He's a family guyThe second chorus reinforces Peter’s role and uses wholesome similes (“sweeter than vanilla,” “wholesome as apple pie”) ironically, given Peter’s often crude and inappropriate behavior.
[Lois]
His smile's a simple delight
[Chris]
He lets me see the boobies on the internet sites
[Lois]
Peter!
[Meg]
He bought me my cute little hat
[Brian]
Yeah, we should have a talk about that
About that! And his hat!This is where the song becomes more directly about Peter’s questionable actions. Chris’s line about internet pornography is jarringly inappropriate, highlighting Peter’s negative influence. Meg’s line about the hat is innocently oblivious to the darker undertones, and Brian’s reaction hints at Peter’s problematic behaviors.
[Brian]
He's mastered the comedy arts
[Stewie]
He says, Look out, Hiroshima! Then casually farts
[Lois]
He's loaded with sexy appeal
[Peter]
And best of all my titties are real, Have a feel!
[Brian]
No thank you
[Stewie]
I gave it the officeThis section escalates the absurdity and offensiveness. Stewie’s Hiroshima joke is dark and tasteless, showcasing Family Guy‘s willingness to push boundaries. Peter’s crude and boastful line about his “titties” further emphasizes his vulgarity and Brian and Stewie’s disgusted reactions add to the comedic effect.
[Lois]
The Brady Bunch has got their Mike
And pretty Laura Petrie has Dicky Van Dyke
But who around here could fill those loafers?
But here's a happy replyLois references classic TV sitcoms The Brady Bunch and The Dick Van Dyke Show, comparing their idealized family fathers to the Griffins. The question “Who around here could fill those loafers?” sets up the final chorus as the “happy reply.”
Lucky there's a family guy
Lucky there's a man who positively can do all the thing that
Make us
[Stewie] Laugh and cry!
He's a Family Guy!
He's a Family Guy!The final chorus concludes by reiterating Peter’s role, despite all the criticisms and questionable behavior highlighted throughout the song. This ironic celebration of a flawed character is central to Family Guy‘s humor.
Why the Family Guy Opening Works
The Family Guy opening lyrics are successful because they are:
- Catchy and Memorable: The tune is simple and singable, ensuring it sticks in your head.
- Satirical and Irreverent: The lyrics are full of pop culture references and edgy jokes, setting the tone for the show’s humor.
- Character-Driven: Each character’s lines reflect their personality, from Lois’s complaints to Stewie’s cynical remarks.
- Self-Aware: The song sometimes breaks the fourth wall, like Stewie’s comment about rhyming, adding to the comedic effect.
Image: The Family Guy title card featuring the show’s logo.
In conclusion, the Family Guy opening lyrics are more than just a theme song; they are a mini-satire that encapsulates the show’s humor, pop culture references, and irreverent spirit. Understanding the lyrics reveals layers of jokes and social commentary that make this opening sequence a beloved part of television animation history.
