The Family Guy opening theme song is iconic, instantly recognizable, and packed with the show’s signature brand of humor. It sets the stage perfectly for the animated sitcom’s irreverent and satirical take on family life and pop culture. But beyond its catchy tune, the lyrics themselves are a comedic goldmine, offering a witty commentary on societal changes and the state of entertainment. Let’s dive into the lines and explore the humor embedded within this famous TV theme.
The song begins with Lois setting a nostalgic tone, lamenting the perceived decline in entertainment quality:
It seems today that all you see
Is violence in movies and sex on TV
This opening line immediately establishes a common sentiment – the feeling that modern media is overly sensationalized. It’s a relatable observation, even if delivered with a touch of exaggeration for comedic effect. Peter chimes in, echoing a similar yearning for simpler times:
But where are those good ‘ol fashioned values
On which we used to rely?
Peter’s question amplifies the nostalgia, hinting at a bygone era of wholesome entertainment. This sets up the contrast that runs throughout the entire theme song – a comparison between a romanticized past and a more cynical present.
Brian, the family dog and voice of reason, then takes a turn to comment on the changing image of celebrity:
It used to be a big time star
Was elegant as Garbo, or Hedy Lamarr
Here, Brian invokes the names of classic Hollywood icons, Greta Garbo and Hedy Lamarr, symbols of old Hollywood glamour and sophistication. These were actresses known for their poise and mystique, a stark contrast to the modern celebrity image that Stewie, the diabolical baby, immediately skewers:
But now we get whores like Jenny Lopez
You want to curl up and die
Stewie’s line is intentionally provocative and over-the-top. Referring to Jennifer Lopez with such harsh language is clearly meant to be shocking and humorous, highlighting the perceived shift towards a more overtly sexualized and, in Stewie’s exaggerated view, less refined celebrity culture. This line is a prime example of Family Guy‘s edgy and often controversial humor.
Then comes the chorus, the heart of the theme, and the reason we’re all here – celebrating the “Family Guy” himself:
Lucky there’s a Family Guy
Lucky there’s a man who positively can do
All the things that make us
[Stewie] Laugh and cry
He’s our Family Guy
This chorus is pure comedic relief. After the cynical observations, it pivots to an almost absurdly positive appreciation for Peter Griffin. The idea that Peter, the bumbling and often irresponsible father, is someone to be “lucky” to have is inherently funny. Stewie’s interjection of “Laugh and cry” adds another layer, suggesting Peter’s antics evoke a wide range of emotions, often simultaneously.
Lois returns for the second verse, continuing the theme of contrasting musical tastes:
When I was young, the songs were fair
With Mister Johnny Mathis, and Sonny and Cher
Lois reminisces about the music of her youth, mentioning Johnny Mathis and Sonny & Cher, artists known for their softer, more traditionally melodic songs. Again, this represents a perceived “golden age” of music, which Peter immediately undercuts with a crass comparison:
But now we get Justin Timber-homo
[Lois] A heartache all gone awry!
Peter’s line about “Justin Timber-homo” is deliberately offensive and nonsensical. It’s a crude joke playing on Justin Timberlake’s name and, in its awkwardness, highlights the generational clash in musical taste. Lois’s exasperated “A heartache all gone awry!” underscores the humor, reacting to Peter’s comment with horrified dismay.
Brian then shifts the focus to film, drawing another comparison between past and present cinematic quality:
The classic films were works of art
The images were graceful, the stories were smart
Brian champions classic films as sophisticated and artistically valuable, contrasting them with what Stewie considers a cinematic low point:
But now we get Matrix Revolution, I’m sorry I know this doesn’t rhyme
But what the hell were you Wachowski Brothers thinking?!
Stewie’s rant about Matrix Revolutions is a direct jab at a specific modern film, expressing bewilderment at its perceived lack of quality. The self-aware line “I’m sorry I know this doesn’t rhyme” adds to the comedic effect, breaking the song’s rhythm for a moment to deliver a punchline about the film’s questionable merit. The Wachowski Brothers (now sisters) become the target of Stewie’s witty disdain.
The chorus repeats, reinforcing the central comedic praise of the “Family Guy”:
Lucky there’s a family guy
Lucky there’s a fella, sweeter than vanilla
Wholesome as a piece of
[Stewie] Apple pie
He’s a family guy
This iteration of the chorus adds even more hyperbolic praise. Comparing Peter to “vanilla” and “apple pie” is ironic, given his often chaotic and inappropriate behavior. Stewie’s deadpan delivery of “Apple pie” further enhances the humor of this absurd comparison.
Lois offers a seemingly sweet sentiment in the next verse:
His smile’s a simple delight
But this quickly takes a Family Guy turn into inappropriate territory when Chris chimes in:
He lets me see the boobies on the internet sites
Chris’s innocent (and disturbing) revelation about Peter’s internet habits abruptly shatters the sweet image Lois was trying to create. Lois’s immediate and exasperated “Peter!” is a classic sitcom reaction to inappropriate parental behavior.
Meg, often the family’s punching bag, gets a rare moment of positive interaction with Peter, quickly undermined by Brian:
[Meg] He bought me my cute little hat
[Brian] Yeah, we should have a talk about that
Meg’s simple appreciation for a hat is immediately undercut by Brian’s ominous “We should have a talk about that,” hinting at some potentially problematic or inappropriate context behind Peter buying Meg a hat. This is classic Family Guy humor – taking a seemingly normal situation and twisting it into something awkward or questionable.
Brian then acknowledges Peter’s comedic, albeit often crude, talents:
He’s mastered the comedy arts
Stewie, however, provides a very specific and dark example of Peter’s “comedy”:
He says, Look out, Hiroshima! Then casually farts
Stewie’s line is a shock-value joke, referencing the atomic bombing of Hiroshima in conjunction with a fart joke. This is quintessential Family Guy – mixing historical tragedies with lowbrow humor to create something deliberately offensive and funny.
Lois tries again to highlight Peter’s positive traits, this time focusing on his attractiveness:
He’s loaded with sexy appeal
Peter’s response is, of course, crude and self-aggrandizing:
And best of all my titties are real, Have a feel!
Peter’s boast about his “titties” and invitation to “Have a feel!” is body humor at its most absurd. Brian and Stewie’s disgusted reactions, “No thank you” and “I gave it the office,” respectively, provide comedic counterpoints to Peter’s outrageous behavior.
The final verse shifts to TV sitcom comparisons, referencing classic wholesome shows:
[Lois] The Brady Bunch has got their Mike
And pretty Laura Petrie has Dicky Van Dyke
Lois name-drops iconic TV families and characters – Mike Brady from The Brady Bunch and Laura Petrie from The Dick Van Dyke Show, both representing idealized, wholesome TV families of the past. The question then becomes:
But who around here could fill those loafers?
This line questions who in the present day could embody that same wholesome, paternal TV figure. The answer, of course, is the unexpected and ironic:
But here’s a happy reply
And the song culminates in the final chorus, celebrating Peter once more:
Lucky there’s a family guy
Lucky there’s a man who positively can do all the things that
[Stewie] Laugh and cry!
He’s a Family Guy!
He’s a Family Guy!
The repeated chorus reinforces the central joke – that despite all his flaws and inappropriate behavior, Peter Griffin is, in his own absurd way, the “Family Guy” who brings laughter (and maybe tears of frustration) to the family and the audience.
In conclusion, the Family Guy opening theme lyrics are more than just a catchy tune. They are a mini-satire, packed with cultural references, generational humor, and the show’s signature irreverent style. By contrasting a romanticized past with a crass and chaotic present, and then celebrating the unlikely hero Peter Griffin, the theme song perfectly encapsulates the comedic spirit of Family Guy. It’s a brilliant piece of songwriting that sets the tone for the show and remains a fan favorite.
