When I first met Oscar, a friendly 21-year-old living just down the hall, I initially mistook him for a visitor dropping by his parents’ place. Discovering he actually lived with them sparked a quick, perhaps judgmental, thought: was he lacking independence? However, my perspective shifted as I began to understand that in Spain, the concept of Family In Spanish culture is vastly different. It’s not unusual for young adults to reside with their parents well into their 30s.
Seeing this generational living arrangement common in Spain prompted reflections on my own hometown. I pictured peers who remained, often leading lives marked by early parenthood, clinging to high school memories, or stuck in local dead-end jobs. For those of us who ventured away, staying put felt like a failure to launch. But this viewpoint clashes sharply with the Spanish norm.
In Spain, it’s almost unheard of for 18-year-olds to immediately leave the nest. Unlike in some Western cultures where moving out at eighteen is a rite of passage, Spanish youth often remain at home, even while attending university in their hometown. Dorm life is typically reserved for students from rural areas lacking local universities, mirroring the US system in this specific scenario.
Early in my Spanish immersion, frequent visits from my Spanish mother’s 25-year-old niece, Belen, seemed peculiar. Her regular presence – three or four times a week – initially struck me as excessive for a college student. Yet, I soon learned that weekly family visits are not just common; they are the expected norm. The emphasis on maintaining close family in Spanish society was becoming increasingly clear.
One Saturday, learning Belen was free, my host mom suggested we invite her out. We enjoyed her company, but my roommate and I couldn’t shake the feeling that this was a set-up, a duty imposed upon Belen to entertain the American “daughters.” However, I came to realize that for Belen, spending time with family wasn’t an obligation but a natural and enjoyable part of life. Now living within her aunt’s home, I too was being welcomed into this close-knit family in Spanish circle.
Instead of viewing extended home-living as a sign of arrested development, many young Spaniards genuinely cherish their parents’ company, choosing to spend weekend outings with them. This contrasts sharply with the American stereotype of teenagers recoiling at the idea of parental company. While many American youths might dread being seen with their parents, it’s perfectly normal for young Spaniards to enjoy a casual drink or movie night with their relatives.
Alt text: A Spanish family, including young adults and parents, laughing together at an outdoor cafe, symbolizing the close family bonds in Spanish culture.
This strong family in Spanish culture is underpinned by various factors. One significant contributor is the economic reality of Spain. Job scarcity makes it practical for young adults to remain in the family home longer, benefiting from shared resources. However, economics is only part of the story. At its heart, the prioritization of family in Spanish life stems from deeply ingrained cultural values where familia genuinely comes first.
The daily rhythm of Spain reflects this familial emphasis. During weekdays, businesses and schools often close in the mid-afternoon, allowing families to gather for la comida, the substantial midday meal. Sundays are even more explicitly family-centric. Considered a day for familia, almost all stores are closed, even in major cities, as Spaniards dedicate the day to family time. This is a stark contrast to the often consumer-driven Sundays in other cultures.
In comparison, American culture often promotes a narrative of teenage rebellion and parental angst. The high value placed on independence can sometimes translate to a societal expectation for parents to push their children towards self-reliance at 18. American television often showcases dysfunctional family dynamics, exemplified by talk shows thriving on family conflicts – a genre largely absent from Spanish TV. Interestingly, American shows and movies depicting wholesome family relationships, such as Seventh Heaven and Family Man, find considerable popularity in Spain, suggesting a cultural yearning for positive family portrayals.
This isn’t to say that Spanish families are uniformly harmonious. Dysfunctional families exist everywhere. However, the inherent respect for relatives within family in Spanish culture often transforms family gatherings into genuine celebrations rather than potential disasters.
Beyond immediate family, Spanish attitudes towards friendships also differ. Spanish parents often have less involvement in their children’s friendships, and introducing romantic partners to parents typically occurs only when marriage is imminent. This contrasts with the closer integration of friends into family life sometimes seen in other cultures.
As a then-21-year-old college student in my third year, the prospect of still living with my parents felt unimaginable. My personal growth was intrinsically linked to leaving home and forging my own path. This cultural divergence regarding family in Spanish life isn’t about judging one way as superior. Instead, it’s about recognizing and appreciating the diverse ways cultures prioritize values. My experience in Spain offered invaluable insight into how deeply Spanish people honor and cherish their families, providing a different, yet equally valid, perspective on life and relationships.
Alt text: A large Spanish family gathered around a table laden with food, enjoying a traditional Spanish meal together, highlighting the importance of shared meals in Spanish family life.
Amie Van Overmeer (Based on original article information)
