Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy offers a unique approach to mental well-being by recognizing that our inner world is comprised of various “parts” or sub-personalities. This talk therapy helps individuals understand these internal families and their roles in shaping our emotions and behaviors, ultimately guiding us towards self-compassion and healing.
Understanding the Core Components of IFS: Parts and Self
At the heart of IFS is the concept that our psyche is naturally made up of different parts, each with its own perspective, feelings, and motivations. These parts are not seen as negative or pathological, but rather as valuable components of our internal system that have taken on specific roles, often to protect us. IFS also emphasizes the “Self,” a core of wisdom, compassion, and calmness that exists within everyone.
The Three Primary Types of “Parts”
IFS commonly identifies three main categories of parts: Managers, Exiles, and Firefighters.
Managers: These are proactive parts that strive to keep us organized, secure, and in control of our daily lives. They often manage our emotions and interactions to prevent pain and maintain a sense of stability.
Exiles: Exiles are the parts that carry the pain, hurt, fear, or shame from past experiences, particularly from childhood. Managers often work hard to suppress and protect these exiled parts from being felt, as their emotions can be overwhelming.
Firefighters: When exiled parts are activated and threaten to flood us with painful emotions, firefighters step in. These parts react impulsively to distract from or numb the pain of exiles. Behaviors like substance use or binge eating can be examples of firefighter activity.
For instance, imagine a past traumatic experience leading to an exiled part holding fear and vulnerability. A manager part might develop to control situations and people to prevent similar experiences. If the exiled part’s pain becomes overwhelming, a firefighter part might emerge as an addiction to suppress these feelings.
The Self: Your Core Essence of Compassion
IFS posits that beneath these parts lies the Self, a core of inherent goodness and wisdom. The Self is characterized by qualities that Dr. Richard Schwartz, the founder of IFS, describes as the 8 Cs and 5 Ps. These traits indicate the presence and availability of the Self.
The 8 Cs are:
- Confidence
- Calmness
- Creativity
- Clarity
- Curiosity
- Courage
- Compassion
- Connectedness
The 5 Ps are:
- Presence
- Patience
- Perspective
- Persistence
- Playfulness
Accessing the Self allows for healing and integration of parts. The Self can lead and guide the internal system with compassion and understanding, helping parts to release their burdens and extreme roles.
How IFS Therapy Works: The 6 F’s to Self-Discovery
In IFS therapy, a therapist guides individuals to connect with their Self and understand their parts. A common approach involves the “6 F’s” process to engage with a part:
- Find: Become aware of a part within your mind or body that is drawing your attention.
- Focus: Direct your attention to this specific part.
- Flesh out: Describe the part in detail and explore your experience of it – its feelings, sensations, and thoughts.
- Feel toward: Notice your emotions and reactions towards this part. IFS aims to approach parts with curiosity and compassion from the Self.
- Befriend: Develop a relationship with the part by expressing curiosity and acceptance of its presence and role.
- Fear: Gently inquire about the part’s fears and what it might worry about if its role were to change.
By working through these steps, individuals can learn to relate to their parts from a place of Self, fostering understanding, compassion, and ultimately, healing. IFS therapy empowers individuals to shift the functions of their parts, leading to positive personal growth and improved mental well-being through self-compassion and internal harmony.
