Paramount+ has unleashed The Family Stallone upon the world, a new reality series starring action movie icon Sylvester Stallone and his family. At 76, Stallone reportedly signed up for the show as a way to spend more time with his loved ones. Before its premiere, promises were made about the series being “authentic” and more akin to a “docu-series” than typical reality TV fare, with assurances from his daughters that “nothing would be staged.”
However, if The Family Stallone is truly unscripted and authentic, then the Stallones come across as surprisingly uninteresting, despite their considerable wealth and Sylvester Stallone’s global fame. The entire production, much like the family’s on-screen personas, feels carefully curated and artificial. The show centers around Stallone’s wife of 25 years, Jen, and their three daughters: Sophia, Sistine, and Scarlet. While the initial episode attempts to highlight their individual personalities, they often blend together. We learn Sophia is navigating relationship issues, and Scarlet is juggling college life with a role in her father’s show Tulsa King in Oklahoma, while also dealing with her own boy problems. Sistine’s pursuits remain somewhat vague, though it’s implied she might also be facing similar romantic entanglements.
Sylvester Stallone and his family in 'The Family Stallone' reality TV series
The series progresses with a monotonous rhythm, resembling a meticulously crafted 22-minute Facebook feed brought to life. Every shot is flattering, messy environments are nonexistent, and any hint of genuine personality from the main family members seems to have been meticulously edited out. Having watched five episodes, it’s challenging to recall any memorable moments featuring the core family, except for a fleeting scene where one daughter briefly allows a spider to crawl on her hand, and another instance where a daughter plays a pregnancy prank on Stallone, which she quickly reveals as a joke within 20 seconds. Al Pacino makes a cameo in an early episode, but his contribution is limited to showcasing his signature wild hairstyle. The daughters frequently seek dating advice from Stallone, who positions himself as an expert while simultaneously being overly protective and insisting on vetting potential boyfriends before meeting them. The daughters’ affection for their father is evident and heartwarming, but it doesn’t translate into captivating television.
Amidst the blandness, a glimmer of intrigue emerges in the form of Stallone’s brother, Frank Stallone. He stands out as the only individual who brings a semblance of genuine eccentricity to the show. Portrayed as a quirky uncle figure with an intense admiration for his brother—evidenced by a Sly Stallone shrine in his home—Frank is still pursuing a singing career despite years of criticism. Frank’s screen time in The Family Stallone is justified by his unconventional personality and occasional unscripted moments. He provides the only element in this reality series that feels remotely authentic.
In conclusion, The Family Stallone struggles to deliver compelling content, even within the often-forgiving realm of reality television. While offering glimpses into the lives of a famous family, the series ultimately feels manufactured and lacks the genuine spark needed to truly engage viewers.
